Feeling a bit Grinchy Tonight

Ya know, I hate strongly dislike those people that complain about the holidays especially when they say they are so busy or stressed out that they can't wait for this month to be over.  I used to think, "Well that is because YOU don't know the REAL meaning of Christmas." and I figured it was their loss and that they were missing out.

As a teenager, I loved this season.  I loved when my best friend and I would get our annual Santa picture (ahem...we are scheduled to have this year's photo taken this Friday), I loved baking watching my mom bake, I loved preparing for the Christmas band concert (band geek and proud of it!) and I loved shopping for my mom, dad, brother and best friend...4 gifts...that's it....4 gifts plus a card or two for my favorite teachers!  I waited with anticipation for the last few days of school so I could leisurely wrap my 4 gifts, sit around in my pj's all day and eat my mom's sugar cookies while waiting for Christmas.  The Christmas Eve service was always my favorite moment out of the entire month but I often wondered why my mom always seemed like if she shut her eyes she would fall into a deep slumber at any given moment from Christmas Eve through Christmas day.  I mean, after all, these were the best two days of the year!! How could she be tired?!

Fast forward 20 years...  Today I actually had these thoughts and did these actions:

~ Why do they sell black and pink trees at B*orders?  What the H*ll (actually thought that...bad, I know) these people have a warped sense of Christmas.  Christmas trees are not meant to be black or PINK!

~What would happen if for one year, I didn't do my traditional pj, Christmas book, reindeer dust Christmas packages for my children nor my niece and nephews?  (Don't worry.  Packages should be in the mail tomorrow!)

~Heck, what if I didn't buy gifts at all even for my own two kids?  Then I realized that I am not that courageous mean and I think they actually deserve to engage in a logical conversation with me before I just spring it on them.  I know as a kid, I would have had very hurt feelings if my mama didn't shop for me!  Moving on.... 

~I am feeling quite embarrassed that tonight I snuck my kids in and out of church for their Kid's Choir practice and I didn't let myself be seen because I was too embarrassed since every other family was staying for the advent service but I was too busy to stay.  I know I missed out on something amazing!

~Why does there have to be a karate demo, staff holiday party, more birthday parties than I care to mention, all crammed into the next two weeks?  Hello???  What's wrong with January?

Okay, enough...  What I really want is to hit a big *Pause* button and put the normal activities on hold so that I can just walk around and absorb the sights, sounds and smells of the season instead of feeling like "it is just one more thing" in an already too busy of a month.

I guess I'll find out soon if I truly want to live out the meaning of Christmas and if I do, I will stop complaining. Instead, I'll start rejoicing in the birth of my Savior and start counting all of my many blessings He has bestowed on me, and I won't shut my eyes and fall into a deep slumber until January 1st!  After all, I don't want to be one of those Grinchy type people. 

Well I am off to go pray...for a quieter mind and a more joyful and giving spirit.  Tis the season...